I felt like this wisdom about meditation and ideas was flowing through me today. I wrote what I wrote above and I thought "Oh! I want to post that on IG." An idea!
.. No sooner did I have the idea, the killer thoughts came in: "You don't have to post everything." "Who are you to tell people what meditation is or isn't?" "That's not a poem or a song. It's probably not even an original thought." And then there were several distractions that made me almost forget my idea of posting this. .. Fortunately I am now willing to look at and feel the destructive force I carry inside me that kills my ideas quickly and ruthlessly. In fact, there is a graveyard somewhere that holds my dead ideas. .. My thoughts ~ my words ~ my action or lack of action ~ can and have killed so many inspired ideas. It is a protective device that has shielded me forever. Protecting me from other people's criticism, judgement, cruelty, meanness... so if I don't put my ideas out there in the world, I won't get hurt. But the problem is that it has become too painful to hold back, to not put my expression into the world. #painisagift
What's amazing is that I had this download today and then the first post I saw on IG was this quote from Joseph P. Kauffmann @conscious_collective:
"Meditation is not a practice in which we do anything. It is a practice in which we stop doing, in which we stop completely, both inwardly and outwardly, in order to reconnect with our Source and realize the fundamental ground of our Being." ..
So, no, didn't have an original thought. But there is synchronicity flowing in my life...and my idea is not buried in the graveyard! . .
You suffer because you assume too much. You think you need to be a certain someone and do certain somethings. You think you have to define yourself and create an identity. You believe it's all very important, because you've been told it's necessary. You carry around this expectation of what must happen and how it all must work for you to be happy. You create an image in your mind of what your life needs to be, and you develop a mentality of inadequacy and insecurity. You never truly feel complete and content with yourself. You always feel like you've something to improve upon in order to prove yourself worthy •
Stop assuming you have to be anything. Quit making yourself feel bad for not meeting imagined expectations. You don't have to pretend to enjoy things, just because other people do. You don't have to do anything, just because other people do •
Stop defining yourself so narrowly. Stop trying to force and identity on yourself. Live your life and do what you feel best doing. Do what you love. Do what you're most passionate about. Let everyone else compare and compete with one another. Don't allow yourself to get caught up in their game. Life is what you make of it. Play your own game by your rules, and do what they say can't be done •
does abundance give way to curiosity or confusion?
In the buffet of life, I notice the presence of both, as 1 often leads to the other. My contemplation leads to choice, & choosing can be confusing
Yet confusion can also be a gift b/c frustration leads to gestation -- of spiritual growth, which I may have otherwise neglected in my own life
In fact, some of my most frustrating life circumstances have served as my greatest teachers. Each difficulty reminds me of my power to choose in every moment. Yet it is dangerous to exercise this freedom unconsciously in a world full of excess. Both inquiry AND action are required so that this abundance serves to empower rather than paralyze .
The first step is inquiry. Therefore, as I walk this path, I reflect and ask: are my arms raised in wonder (curiosity), or is my body yielding to the shrug of my shoulders (confusion)?
In the context of this photo, curiosity makes the broad forest of universal wisdom visible to the eye. Yet the countless stalks can quickly transform this infinite blessing into an incomprehensible jungle, filled w/ contradictory teachings & influences
Which to follow, who to trust? These are questions that constantly plague the mind of the spiritual seeker. I must admit, it is quite easy to get stuck in the curiosity/confusion cycle. For example, my journey sometimes looks like this:
Hmm.. I am suffering right now. How can I overcome the pain? Let me turn to Google, no wait; how about the spiritual teachings instead! (curiosity)
Damnit! this spiritual practice says I should eat these things, while this other guru says I should not eat at all. What am I to believe? (confusion)
Hmm.. let me ask some friends. I wonder what their experiences are & how they overcame similar struggles in their life! (curiosity)
Damnit! I just asked 5 people & they gave me 5 contradicting opinions on how to approach my ailment. I no longer trust my original decision (confusion)
Crazy, right?! There's just so much info out there, & I now realize how futile it is to seek all the answers before committing to action. My purpose now is to transcend this cycle w/ the aid of intuition & consistent action 🤘
LET YOUR CHARACTERS TALK!
They'll tell you what they want to do. Would, for example, Isabelle Lightwood walk the dog, or is it more likely for her brother Alec to? Not that the Lightwoods have a dog, but what if they did?
Let your characters tell YOU what they want to do. Let them tell YOU who they are.
I'm Probably Just Crazy and She Really Loved the Marlins
Today I took my son to the grocery store,
The bank account taxing like it's sore,
I did what I could with what I had,
But still trying to do what was best as my son's dad.
My boy wanted candy but I had to say no,
I did have a few extra bucks from the sales though,
So I felt a little bad but the boy had been naughty,
Till I saw this bitch who did something North Shore Nancy level haughty.
Standing in line, liquor department, son in tail,
Saved enough money to get some bourbon on sale,
When a woman, on her way out made her way in,
Through the separate door to say "I like your hat", referring to my son's Marlins,
Team hat he wore, it's his favorite no doubt,
And I have to wonder why of her way she went out,
To make a comment so petty and needless,
Frankly I didn't write about it earlier because until now I didn't want that stuck up bitch to read this.
Author's Note: Over the past few years I've been needlessly stalked by a lot of the parents from my son's school and activities, so much so at one point a year or two ago I got a call from the superintendent asking me to take down a post. I can only assume this woman, who didn't buy anything or acknowledge me, was saying some petty bullshit because I was buying liquor. I really wrestled with saying anything but mostly did because I didn't wanna come off as a dick for what I said in my last poem. Besides, when it comes to baseball I'm out there to watch my son so I gotta ask, why the fuck is she watching me and mine?
Sitting in my favorite spot in the house. My work space is a sanctuary, a place of creative ideas that come and go like waves. Late nights surrounded by books filled with my favorite characters who push me to give life to my own that will soon no longer be confined in my laptop but in the homes of many. I'm so grateful for the gift I've been given and for those who have inspired me so deeply. It's a beautiful feeling when you're living your most authentic self and unleashing the inner power that is within us all. I go to sleep and wake up feeling so pleased, comfortable, confident, and incandescently in love with who I am and it's something I wish for everyone to feel. If you are not completely happy with who are as an individual when you lie your head down to sleep and when you look at yourself in the mirror, well sweetheart, it's time to make some changes 😉 I wish peace, love, and gratitude for everyone. Namaste 🙏🏼 #blessed#beautiful#life#love#loveyourself#nofilter#curls#writersofinstagram#bookstagram#writerscommunity#natural#namaste#happiness#bliss